My problem???

I think i know something about myself. Its weird but I just realized that it is me..its my reaction everytime its happen. Hmm...should fangirling a kpop idol called crush or love?
Either way...i know that the longest time I ever fangirling an idol last for about a year. Then it dissapear like I never knew them. Its good reaction and good attitude actually if you are fangirling an idol. Because no matter how hard you try they will never be yours.
The problem is...even they are not artist or an idol...I still have that crazy hardcore cupid arrow in my heart but then few month after that its gone. But what i realized...when i started to notice that i fell in love with someone...I will keep my distance from him. So the problem is...WHEN WILL I GET MARRIED IF THIS HOW I RESPOND TO MY HEART??!! Hmmmmm.

I wonder how long have I reacted like this. Its not like I have love trauma ( a lie) its not like I have trust issue(another lie)...but I dont think any of that make me react like this. I dont know. Maybe my standard is sooooo high.
Well I have two supporting boyfriend...which I called brother. They not perfect but at least they are there when I am in need. At least they know me for 10 years. They know when im not okay and they give maybe the craziest advice ever but at least they help me for 10 years now. I have two younger brother that cling on me...I maybe not the best sister they ever have. But I think I spoil them to much. They maybe rude everytime...but they are the medicide for my stress..they are the poison when im not in stress..they are the one that I spend my money the most. And most importantly...i have a father that over protective...that always treat me like a child. Maybe that is why im so spoiled and childish. But nothing to complain about that. I love the way I was loved.
But to find someone that can beat all this features...i dont know. I dont think i will ever find the one. Maybe my standard is tooo high. You cant blame me when im surrounded by someone that nearly perfect in my eyes.