PD settlement

I dont know. My thought is too full right now. I feel like wanna put a bullet through so its become lighter. Just feel like wanna make a hole in my head so that i can start thinking clearly instead of this messy thought.

Planning to see a therapist but money speak louder than my up and down thought. I suppose crying can help but i dont feel like crying.

Words like " Thought can make you paralyse so start do it" this word does help but does not clear my thought.