Hope for a silver lining

Never though that im not crying remembering all memories of 3 and 10 years ago. Instead im just smiling because writing really make me realize that it is my fault..it is my stupidity that cause things to happen. I really should write more.

But for now i think dying with this master project. This things really does not kill me but seriously make me wanna die. Just make me wonder why i study master in the first place. Then i remember because im to lazy to face the real world where people bragging about their position...about people love to see there is always people under them...people that things they are superior then others...people that act all nice but a bitch in reality. I have enough of this people for few years of working experience...and im not gonna face them yet. Let just say...im a magnet of backstabbing and bad people.

But....but...but...i seriously tired of this project. Its not hard...it just that i wish i can have few years not thinking of anything...just travel around the world and daydream until i getting bored. I wanna vacation because live stuck in my bedroom not gonna help me with my current situation.

And my situation is kinda bad...im starting to have bad dream about the memories since a month ago...and i cannot sleep until it was 4am. Then woke at 11pm...then laying down until 2pm before i start getting up from my bed. This ritual repeat itself for months now. I really need a vacation or at least a new hobby.

But im really thankful having a nice prof as my sv. I really dont care if he give me B for this sem..because im seriously lazy and im not mèting him at all. Ohh...i think b is too good for me. I really hope he didnt ask for the thesis yet. Until next week at least. I really hope i can get the thesis done by next week...and complete my master project by the end of next month. Then i wanna plan a vacation that does not cause me to suffer from ptptn debt. How i wish korea does not make me bankrup but it does...so korea is out of the list for now.

First whether i find a husband or drag my beloved brother and ex to accompany me...also lots of girlfriend.

Im amaze with myself really...i really trust my brother...like almost 90%. But still i will not be alone with them. Despite they are my brother...they still boys...and girls will never be safe with boys alone. That what i feel all this while...and not only them...i dont trust myself with any boys in this world alone. Its me i dont trust...hehehe.